In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Howla. His
father is ambitious to educate Howla.
Howla goes to school in Tappa Chabutra. Its principal was educated in Urdu
high school and claims that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows:
Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochanaa (questions) puchinga.
Sab achaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main
uske pairaan thodtoom.
Howla: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya
kochanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo
khola to gaaliaan nikaltey. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum.
Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector
ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.
So our Howla is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not
going to school the next day.
Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pe
maartaun saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Howla: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Howla ischool nai jayinga kathey
kal.Agar iney ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Howla, agar
tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.
So Howla cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day in school, Teacher is very upset to see Howla back:
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kaiko aaya re ?
Howla: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur
inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad
karinga naa meri noukri lag jayingi.
So Howla goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to
answeraan yun bolte.
Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey?
Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se
nazook cheez kaun si hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.
Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi
nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey! ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta
saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar
sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaiseich
answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime Howla is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees
him. He thinks Howla is hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam
kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu)Woh
Howla hai saab.
Inspector: Howla? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai
naamaan! Howla, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Howla: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Howla,
answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap
tere pau padthaum.
Howla: Saab sabse nazook cheez apne body mein Gaand hai saab.
Teacher: Allah!! Iney moo khola meri gaand lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney
aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey
amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa answer hai re?
Howla: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata ...Yahan Hydrabad mein
apni gaand phat thi ... ..Yahaan old ci! ty mein gadbadaan shuru
hothey...wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi.
Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand
phatri dekho!!!!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Short story competition in TCS
There was a contest in TCS to write a fictional story for 500 words max
which would start with the line ” On a dark and foggy night, a small
figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station “
This is what a guy wrote for the contest……. and surprisingly, it was
adjudged the best short story : ))
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway
tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see
someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With
curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to
investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face
down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused
the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.
Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was
fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained
envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it.
With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the
envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag
around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint
that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a
shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying
colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I
saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as
much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were
printed…. My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard
inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”…
As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him
for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of
the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the
appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and
eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing
increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the
employee’s name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange
co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials.
This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside
down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name,
but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it
was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt
someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not
breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the
glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see
my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “wake
up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter
ready”.
which would start with the line ” On a dark and foggy night, a small
figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station “
This is what a guy wrote for the contest……. and surprisingly, it was
adjudged the best short story : ))
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway
tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see
someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With
curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to
investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face
down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused
the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.
Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was
fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained
envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it.
With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the
envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag
around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint
that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a
shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying
colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I
saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as
much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were
printed…. My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard
inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”…
As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him
for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of
the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the
appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and
eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing
increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the
employee’s name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange
co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials.
This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside
down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name,
but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it
was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt
someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not
breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the
glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see
my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “wake
up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter
ready”.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Politics in Reality
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is POLITICS?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny - we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boys says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son. Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies,
'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny - we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boys says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son. Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies,
'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Sachin V/S Bradman
It’s unfair to comment on which among the two will have the superlative. We are talking about two different eras here!
Uncovered pitches, little or no protective gears and for that matter, no genuine laws to protect the batsman from getting killed (a la Bodyline Series) defined Don’s era. Imagine facing a hard leather-ball being hurled at your face or on your body, which by the way, is minus any protection! And with Douglas Jardine and Harold Larwood (who supposedly was as quick as today’s Shoaib Akhtar and Bret Lee) going for the ‘kill’, almost literally, the batsmen were never quite sure whether they would survive to see the next ball, let alone the next morning! Not to forget, cricket was suspended for almost 10 years during the Second World War. Such situations demanded an army-man-like bravery, concentration and of course, focus to continue in cricket after a decade of break! Bradman, undoubtedly, had all of these in plenty and more. You may never again see a batting average of 99.94 for a guy who has played more than 50 Test Matches!
Switch to the current era: A match every second day, touring around the world visiting almost 3-4 countries/nations every year, three different versions of the game, a billion analysts, who in one moment can cloth you in adulation and eulogise you to godly levels and in the next, burn that very cloth into ashes with their criticisms – all of these define the current era, thus, requiring amazing fitness, unadulterated passion and quick adjustments to play at all levels – the longer, shorter and the shortest! You don’t need to look farther than the champion, who very recently scaled the peak which no man in the planet has reached before – Sachin Tendulkar!
There you are – You just can’t compare the two greats, in fact - the greatest, in two eras! I’d say, till the 1950s, Don was the best. And after that, there has been none greater than Sachin!
Uncovered pitches, little or no protective gears and for that matter, no genuine laws to protect the batsman from getting killed (a la Bodyline Series) defined Don’s era. Imagine facing a hard leather-ball being hurled at your face or on your body, which by the way, is minus any protection! And with Douglas Jardine and Harold Larwood (who supposedly was as quick as today’s Shoaib Akhtar and Bret Lee) going for the ‘kill’, almost literally, the batsmen were never quite sure whether they would survive to see the next ball, let alone the next morning! Not to forget, cricket was suspended for almost 10 years during the Second World War. Such situations demanded an army-man-like bravery, concentration and of course, focus to continue in cricket after a decade of break! Bradman, undoubtedly, had all of these in plenty and more. You may never again see a batting average of 99.94 for a guy who has played more than 50 Test Matches!
Switch to the current era: A match every second day, touring around the world visiting almost 3-4 countries/nations every year, three different versions of the game, a billion analysts, who in one moment can cloth you in adulation and eulogise you to godly levels and in the next, burn that very cloth into ashes with their criticisms – all of these define the current era, thus, requiring amazing fitness, unadulterated passion and quick adjustments to play at all levels – the longer, shorter and the shortest! You don’t need to look farther than the champion, who very recently scaled the peak which no man in the planet has reached before – Sachin Tendulkar!
There you are – You just can’t compare the two greats, in fact - the greatest, in two eras! I’d say, till the 1950s, Don was the best. And after that, there has been none greater than Sachin!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Harsha Bhogle's Best Comments
Received a forward, and thought would share it with you all..
1. This was in a match btw india and sa.. umpire rudi kuertzen caught on camera sporting a rare smile. harsha commented.... "last time rudi kuerzten smiled there was peace in west asia"
2. This is again from the natwest trophy final..When yuvraj got out at a very crucial stage..harsha's one liner.. "Yuvraj singh will realize that this will be his longest walk bak to the pavillion"
3. When Sachin once got out to a lollypop offspinner (I guess it was Michael Vaughn) in '02. He wonderfully said, " Oh what a shame. It was reminiscent of a soldier who survived the war when all the bullets were flying by his nose and then got run over by a bicycle in his native town."
4. ind vs aus 2000 icc knockout champioship played in kenya. (yuvi's debut) Sachin was smasing all aussie bowlers, and then he his a superb off drive off lee. harsha : "this innings by tendulkar has been a beautiful garden, the last shot being the most beautiful flower in it"
5. ind vs nzl. (in nzl 2002-2003) sehwag had MANY lucky escapes. when he was dropped once again. harsha : "its been that kind of a day. today sehwag can walk blindfolded across a busy highway and not get runover."
6. Natwest Final: During Naser Hussain's mistimed hits/top edges on his way to his maiden hundred "Naser Hussain is trying desperately hard to find innovative ways of getting himself out"
7. in the same match... "if you are not watching this segment of play, don't ever call yourself a cricket lover anymore. you are watching cricket of a very high order here".
8. Here's n old one...at perth Adam Gilchrist took a blinder and he described Gilly's dive thus, " ...some of the sea-gulls flying here are going to get a complex."
9. when tendulkar got a hundred he said " touch of Class & stamp of Authority"
10. recently in india's tour of south africa...he blurted out suddenly after sreesanth's antiques with the bat and hips..." dis is the funniest thing u'll ever watch on a cricket field"...!!
11. When Smith dropped Sachin in the 2nd Test Graeme Smith would be hoping that the world under his feet opens up & he would find a crevice large enough for him to slip through....
12. After india lost the recent test series in SA India lost the series because they surprised themselves by winning the 1st test . A win should never be a surprise.
13. After Anil Kumble scored his maiden Ton...this is what our great man had to say... "This is the most romantic moment in Indian Cricket....."
14. "The last time Billy gave lbw , Berlin wall was not there , there was peace in Afganistan,..................."
15. In a match between Aus n SL , Harsha said to Ian Chappell , " I am sure you'll never become a lawyer , I understand everything you say " Ian Chappell had no counter for this.
16. Harsha was hosting the ICC Awards before the T20 World Cup and he called on Jonty Rhodes to present an award. So as Jonty began climbing down the stairs, Harsha exclaimed, ''it's pretty unusual to see Jonty walk down the stairs, I thought he might slide down them !"
17. when the wickets were falling in a heap in the T20 match... THIS SERIES IS SPONSERED BY KFC AND THE WICKETS ARE FALLING FASTER THAN THEIR (KFC's) DELIVERIES....
18. when Gambhr was dropped twice on consecutive deliveries, - "We should conduct a dream job in Australia & the winner will get to stand in the slip region!!!!!!"
19. When Kumble and Ishant were batting, Hussey dropped a catch of Ishant off the bowling of Johnson and Harsha exclaimed,"It's autumn in Adelaide. It's the time when leaves change their colour and they start dropping. Here, as well the catches are dropping..".
20. In a match, dravid left a ball alone while batting. To this gavaskar, who was commenting alongside harsha was very impressed by the way he left the ball. He went on appreciating that for a minute or so. After this harsha's comment was, "Sunny, you nearly got an orgasm of happiness, didn't u!" & then both burst out into laughter!
21. dhoni is battin with anil kumble.. dhoni calls for a tight single,n harsha has this to say," dhoni scrambles for a single n causes anil kumble n all of his 37 yrs to rush to the other end.."
22. after shaun tait did not live up to the hype Cricket Australia created around him, ponting took him off the attack. harsha, in his own inimitable style: 'shaun tait should go up to ponting and say "hello mr ponting, my name is shaun tait, and i am supposed to take 45 wickets in this test match"
23. HB was analysing the innings of laxman...laxman made a crucial 79 in the second innings. HB said something like- " aussies must be feeling that wenever we are on the verge of 17th,this man(laxman) comes in between!"
24. RP SIngh walked in but it was Laxman on strike. So the Aussies wanted him to take a single and get RP on strike... so they spread out the field completely, with only the keeper, one slip and one gully inside the 30 yard circle.. That's when Harsha says .. "now suddenly, Don Bradman is batting out there in the middle... "
25. Seeing the flock of seagulls flying across the pitch Harsha tells Wasim Akram : " As you would say in Punjabi... kee gull hai? sea gull hai!!!"
26. when michael clarke was caught at slip off kumble , he was still watin 4 da decision , over this harsha said, " i think he is waitin for tomorrow's newspaper to declare him out"
27. Yuvraj hit the long six off brett lee went outside the stadium in durban 'are there people working late in the office there....... we want the ball back'
28. in t-20 gayle hit a monstrous six but but fell just short of the golf course outside the stadium harsha: "wat a poor shot just misses the golf course"
29. "if i cannot be tendulkar then tendulkar can also not be me"
30. the palyers told their favourite shots while coming on to bat.... Collingwood said "a little nurdle of the pads" and Pietersen said blocking the ball.... Harsha commented "the next thing they'll say is that their favourite shot is to leave the ball alone"
31. what an introduction to India Australia semifinal: "This is a battle between unstoppable force against immovable object"
1. This was in a match btw india and sa.. umpire rudi kuertzen caught on camera sporting a rare smile. harsha commented.... "last time rudi kuerzten smiled there was peace in west asia"
2. This is again from the natwest trophy final..When yuvraj got out at a very crucial stage..harsha's one liner.. "Yuvraj singh will realize that this will be his longest walk bak to the pavillion"
3. When Sachin once got out to a lollypop offspinner (I guess it was Michael Vaughn) in '02. He wonderfully said, " Oh what a shame. It was reminiscent of a soldier who survived the war when all the bullets were flying by his nose and then got run over by a bicycle in his native town."
4. ind vs aus 2000 icc knockout champioship played in kenya. (yuvi's debut) Sachin was smasing all aussie bowlers, and then he his a superb off drive off lee. harsha : "this innings by tendulkar has been a beautiful garden, the last shot being the most beautiful flower in it"
5. ind vs nzl. (in nzl 2002-2003) sehwag had MANY lucky escapes. when he was dropped once again. harsha : "its been that kind of a day. today sehwag can walk blindfolded across a busy highway and not get runover."
6. Natwest Final: During Naser Hussain's mistimed hits/top edges on his way to his maiden hundred "Naser Hussain is trying desperately hard to find innovative ways of getting himself out"
7. in the same match... "if you are not watching this segment of play, don't ever call yourself a cricket lover anymore. you are watching cricket of a very high order here".
8. Here's n old one...at perth Adam Gilchrist took a blinder and he described Gilly's dive thus, " ...some of the sea-gulls flying here are going to get a complex."
9. when tendulkar got a hundred he said " touch of Class & stamp of Authority"
10. recently in india's tour of south africa...he blurted out suddenly after sreesanth's antiques with the bat and hips..." dis is the funniest thing u'll ever watch on a cricket field"...!!
11. When Smith dropped Sachin in the 2nd Test Graeme Smith would be hoping that the world under his feet opens up & he would find a crevice large enough for him to slip through....
12. After india lost the recent test series in SA India lost the series because they surprised themselves by winning the 1st test . A win should never be a surprise.
13. After Anil Kumble scored his maiden Ton...this is what our great man had to say... "This is the most romantic moment in Indian Cricket....."
14. "The last time Billy gave lbw , Berlin wall was not there , there was peace in Afganistan,..................."
15. In a match between Aus n SL , Harsha said to Ian Chappell , " I am sure you'll never become a lawyer , I understand everything you say " Ian Chappell had no counter for this.
16. Harsha was hosting the ICC Awards before the T20 World Cup and he called on Jonty Rhodes to present an award. So as Jonty began climbing down the stairs, Harsha exclaimed, ''it's pretty unusual to see Jonty walk down the stairs, I thought he might slide down them !"
17. when the wickets were falling in a heap in the T20 match... THIS SERIES IS SPONSERED BY KFC AND THE WICKETS ARE FALLING FASTER THAN THEIR (KFC's) DELIVERIES....
18. when Gambhr was dropped twice on consecutive deliveries, - "We should conduct a dream job in Australia & the winner will get to stand in the slip region!!!!!!"
19. When Kumble and Ishant were batting, Hussey dropped a catch of Ishant off the bowling of Johnson and Harsha exclaimed,"It's autumn in Adelaide. It's the time when leaves change their colour and they start dropping. Here, as well the catches are dropping..".
20. In a match, dravid left a ball alone while batting. To this gavaskar, who was commenting alongside harsha was very impressed by the way he left the ball. He went on appreciating that for a minute or so. After this harsha's comment was, "Sunny, you nearly got an orgasm of happiness, didn't u!" & then both burst out into laughter!
21. dhoni is battin with anil kumble.. dhoni calls for a tight single,n harsha has this to say," dhoni scrambles for a single n causes anil kumble n all of his 37 yrs to rush to the other end.."
22. after shaun tait did not live up to the hype Cricket Australia created around him, ponting took him off the attack. harsha, in his own inimitable style: 'shaun tait should go up to ponting and say "hello mr ponting, my name is shaun tait, and i am supposed to take 45 wickets in this test match"
23. HB was analysing the innings of laxman...laxman made a crucial 79 in the second innings. HB said something like- " aussies must be feeling that wenever we are on the verge of 17th,this man(laxman) comes in between!"
24. RP SIngh walked in but it was Laxman on strike. So the Aussies wanted him to take a single and get RP on strike... so they spread out the field completely, with only the keeper, one slip and one gully inside the 30 yard circle.. That's when Harsha says .. "now suddenly, Don Bradman is batting out there in the middle... "
25. Seeing the flock of seagulls flying across the pitch Harsha tells Wasim Akram : " As you would say in Punjabi... kee gull hai? sea gull hai!!!"
26. when michael clarke was caught at slip off kumble , he was still watin 4 da decision , over this harsha said, " i think he is waitin for tomorrow's newspaper to declare him out"
27. Yuvraj hit the long six off brett lee went outside the stadium in durban 'are there people working late in the office there....... we want the ball back'
28. in t-20 gayle hit a monstrous six but but fell just short of the golf course outside the stadium harsha: "wat a poor shot just misses the golf course"
29. "if i cannot be tendulkar then tendulkar can also not be me"
30. the palyers told their favourite shots while coming on to bat.... Collingwood said "a little nurdle of the pads" and Pietersen said blocking the ball.... Harsha commented "the next thing they'll say is that their favourite shot is to leave the ball alone"
31. what an introduction to India Australia semifinal: "This is a battle between unstoppable force against immovable object"
Thursday, February 11, 2010
It is the Life-- PAID IN FULL
Thomas was getting ready to graduate college. For
many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's
showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told
him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, Thomas awaited
signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father called him into his private
study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son
a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed Thomas
opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,
he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you
give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.
Many years passed and Thomas was very successful in
business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his
father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He
had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With
tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he
read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the
sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,
and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?
many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's
showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told
him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, Thomas awaited
signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father called him into his private
study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son
a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed Thomas
opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,
he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you
give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.
Many years passed and Thomas was very successful in
business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his
father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He
had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With
tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he
read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the
sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,
and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?
The Ant and the Grasshopper
The Classic Old Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food
or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
Modern Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering
Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this
poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding
that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government
for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt
support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).
Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh"
in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working
hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants
and Grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian
Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of
the winter.
Arjun Singh makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in
Educational Institutions & in Government Services.
The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the
Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by
NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.
Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.
CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.
Many years later...
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley .
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation
somewhere in India...
As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country !!!
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food
or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
Modern Version
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering
Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this
poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.
Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding
that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government
for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt
support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).
Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh"
in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working
hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants
and Grasshoppers.
Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian
Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the 'Prevention of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of
the winter.
Arjun Singh makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in
Educational Institutions & in Government Services.
The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the
Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by
NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it 'A Triumph of Justice'.
Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.
CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.
Many years later...
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley .
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation
somewhere in India...
As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country !!!
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